A Child of God

I thought I would re post this because it is so true. I follow the Momastry blog and this is were I found the statement below.

If I am humble but lack confidence, it is because I haven’t accepted that there is a divine spark inside of me. If I am humble but not confident, it’s because I don’t believe in the miracle that I was made by God for a purpose all my own, and so I am worthy of the space that I occupy on this Earth. And that as a Child of God, no one deserves more respect, joy, or peace than I. As a child of God, I have the right to speak, to feel, to think, and to believe what I believe. Those dreams in my heart, those ideas in my head, they are real and they have a divine origin and so they are worth exploring. Just because I am a child of God. And thankfully, there is nothing I can add to that title to make it more impressive. There is also nothing I can do to lose that title. I am confident not because I am pretty or smart or athletic or talented or kind. Those things change and can be given and taken. I am confident simply because I am a child of God.

Something that really stuck out at me is : As a child of God, I have the right to speak, to feel, to think, and to believe what I believe.

I have realized that I need to stop apologizing for things that aren't my fault. I can't continue to apologize for other people's lack of respect, and mean things that others say. I have a right to speak my mind too, and I am done hiding behind my fear of confrontation. If others can speak their mind about me and blatantly disrespect me to my face, then I have a right to stand up and say "hey! this isn't right! and I won't stand for it" I have a right to believe that I am a good person with a heart that is in the right place.

"The light at the end is worth the pain" - Boyce Avenue

Today, I feel like I have been beaten to death with drama. I don't even know where to begin with it, and probably shouldn't air it all out. Basically what it boils down to is that a few people think that I am a mean, snotty person that dileberately hurts people. I am being expected to let past things go and just move on with forgiveness....but I feel like I am really going to struggle. How can I keep saying sorry for things that I don't feel like are my fault or shouldn't have to apologize for? These people don't thing they have done anything wrong and I sincerely disagree.

Last night at bible study we briefly talked about how God brings people into your life for a specific purpose. I am having a REALLY hard time seeing the reason for certian people being placed into my life. I am wondering, was I put into THEIR life for a reason? This must be the case, but I don't think it's fair that i'm suffering from hurt because of things that they do. How do I put these issues in the hands of God and let him take over? To say that my anxiety is through the roof from this is an understatement.

I'm struggling here, and looking for the right answers on what to do...

James

Just some food for thought here....

James 4:1-3
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

How true this seems to be......

Things that need to be said...

While I should be working, I decided to do a quick blog before getting started for the day. (side note here....Panera Bread has the BEST breakfast sandwiches. I'm currently eating a ham, egg, & cheese on a jalapeno & cheddar bagle. YUM! Also drinking a mt. dew with it. Completely unhealthy, and I don't even care!) This post will probably be a lot of randoms...

I rejoined facebook, just made some necessary changes, as in blocking a few someone's. I am so unbelieveably tired of drama in my life. I can't emphasize that enough. I decided to take yesterday off work and went shopping with my sister in Williamsburg. It was FANTASTIC! Not only to spend the day with my sister, but it wasn't busy at all! We were lazy and drove from store to store, but when there are parking spaces right up front, who wouldn't? I got a ton of summer stuff for Miss H! I bought myself an $8 sweatshirt from the Gap. Woo! Funny, I would rather spend every last dime on her than get stuff that I need. (Ahem, pants to wear to work!) Oh well! At least she will be cute!

When we got back to town I picked up Halle from the sitter and went to Julie's hair appt with her. Got to see my lover, Nicole :) I had bible study last night, and I must say that I am so glad that I get to share a table with Sabrina! I was a little confused at times :) Our bible study is on the book of James and I read a few things that really hit home for me this week! I'll quote some below.

When I got home, Matt was sleeping in his recliner with Halle asleep on his chest. SO sweet! She doesn't like to snuggle like that anymore, so it was nice to see that she wanted to snuggle her daddy <3

I don't understand how hard it is for some people to be kind? I'm not saying be best friends with everyone, but a simple "please, thank you, and have a nice day" really go a long way.

It's now 9:08 am, I've been at work since 7:30. All I have accomplished is eating Panera, a phone call with my sister, and this blog. Maybe I should make some actual work related calls?

Have a good day, all!